Forward.

I don't ever want to know what it's like, to be doing the same exact thing every single day. If I was stuck in a loop, with no sense of progression whatsoever, where the circumstances of my life or even the smaller details never changed, I would hate my life. I almost got trapped there multiple times. Multiple times in my life I almost found myself getting close to never progressing ever again, but luckily it was only a temporary situation.

Getting up, working a job for most of the day, going home, making yourself food, and going to bed after feeing exhausted, is awful. I've had to live some days like that and it wasn't fun. Having no time to do anything different than you did the day before, with no sense of progression, all of your time given to someone else so you can get up and do it again, it's the quickest way to death.

I look at the decisions that I've made in my life over the past year or so, and I feel free. I took reign of my independence by getting a job and an apartment so I get to control what I do in my free time, and I got an office space which paved a path for me to consistently improve myself every single day in an environment which allows me to grow. I'm lucky.

I'm currenlty looking at this tutorial truck game that I'm developing in Unity. It's a project to help me get familiar with the engine, it's lead by a coach on the Unity website. As I look at the truck moving forward on the screen, I realize it's sort of a metaphor for how everything I've done in my life lately was to resist losing my ambition after dropping out of college and to resist settling into an uncomfortable loop of stagnation and lack of brain stimulation. I feel like I can get comfortable now doing this every day, without being on edge.

Because every day, I move forward.